food & drink
party tips
home décor
community
features
the magazine
contests
In this issue:
Surprise recipes you've never thought of:

Flower power

Bean dessert

Beer-can chicken


For more recipes, check out

party calendar
August: Unique and creative days worthy of celebration.
My mother and I get along quite splendidly—better than most parents and children, in fact. We talk frequently and often laugh a lot when doing so.

But there are a few situations when that’s far from the case. From the time I was little my mother guarded her kitchen. Not the kitchen or our kitchen, but her kitchen. My mother was queen and we idolized her. When I think about it, most of my memories of her involve her cooking. She could handle phone calls as she added ingredients based on their weight in her palm and the scent they created. To this day, her ability to chop, slice and peel anything, knife grazing—but never cutting—her skin, amazes me to no end.

For most of my childhood, my sisters and I would clamor to be the most help in the kitchen. My mother would delegate and we would feel as if without our help, the meal would not have been completed. But by the time my mother really was eager to have us glean her culinary knowledge, my sisters and I had already replaced our interest in the kitchen with our love for lounging and TV. There were a few attempts at her teaching me how to cook, but these only left us red-faced and me soaking in tears. Once when she was making banh xeo, a type of omelet, my mother asked me to cut lettuce with which to wrap the food. She came over and berated me after my lettuce strips were decidedly too wide for the dish. The next time we fought over lettuce that was too thin for bo nhung giam. My mother was a perfectionist and I a beginner. I stalked off both times vowing to never cook in her kitchen again. I’ve somehow succeeded in maintaining this oath.

But then came college. Back at school, my bleak attempts at creating these same foods left everything to be desired. When my rice—made sans rice cooker—came out both soggy and dry, I knew it wasn’t worth trying to create anything involving more than two ingredients. Unfortunately, every time I called with the intention of asking my mother for a recipe or cooking advice, I’d hesitate and then fail to say anything remotely related to food. I’d fallen to asking my dad for culinary advice. He can only cook three things.


After a drawn-out conversation, the recipe finally was in my possession. Now I had directions on how to create a delicious dish requiring rice bowls I didn’t own for measurements and intuitive decisions for the remaining quantities. I’d taken leaps and bounds only to have gone nowhere.

So I gave up and nearly forgot about my culinary adventure. A reminder came six months later when I flew to Seattle to visit my sister. While there, she handed me photocopies of handwritten recipes passed along by my mother. Bo nhung giam, nuoc mam, goi ga (a chicken cole slaw of sorts), bun bo xao (beef with vermicelli noodles), bo nuong vi (another stir-fry beef wrap), thit bo xao (stir-fry beef), and bo luc lac (another beef dish). Just like that, I had a bevy of recipes—measurements and all.

They laid quiet for a while, the recipes did, and I tried to leave them alone. Eventually my craving for bo nhung giam bubbled over and I prepared to face the judge and jury once again; not only would I make some for myself, but I’d also treat my friends to an authentic, home-cooked Vietnamese meal.

The recipe took only torturous phone calls, a 3,000-mile trip to procure the recipe and a long train ride through the Chicago north side during which decrepit old men leered at either me or my bags of food. Pain and suffering begot more pain and suffering. I picked up the phone.


Click here to receive one free issue of Invite
only $14.95 a year!
media kit
Download in PDF format
weekly newsletter
Subscribe to Invite's email newsletter for more party tips.


Home  |  Contact Us  |  Subscribe  |  Newsletter  |  About Us
© Invite 2003. All rights reserved. Privacy Statement.