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| Make
a Date |
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| Reconnect
with an intimate evening for just
you and your partner. |
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By
Kelly Svoboda
Mary Browning, 33, spends days tending
to her 18-month-old daughter, Annie, and
three nights a week working at a department
store. Her husband Jared, 30, works long
hours as a product manager at a biotech
firm. Sometimes they go days without spending
more than an hour together. That’s
when Mary knows it’s time to plan
a special night for two—at home.
"We have a huge
window that looks out onto our big backyard
that abuts a forest preserve," Mary
says. "We turn the lights out inside
and let the moon beam in. It’s like
eating outside."
Forget the fancy restaurants and swanky
bars—the best place for a truly romantic
night is in your own home. Creating special
occasions to celebrate your partnership
can have a positive impact on both partners.
"Quality time is more important than
quantity time," says couples expert
Dr. Ava Cadell, author of Love Around
the House. "It’s how you
create memories. The more beautiful, romantic
memories you create, the deeper the bond
with your partner. And this is more likely
to happen in your house than in a bar
or restaurant."
Planning an evening together need not
be costly or time-consuming. If you don’t
have time to cook, have your favorite
restaurant deliver. Or invite your partner
to join you in whipping up something easy
and fun. Whatever course you choose, eat
slowly and savor the meal, which will
create more time for meaningful conversation.
And definitely turn off the TV, so you
can better tune in to your partner.
"Cooking is sharing; it’s
something we do as a team," says
Carol Yanowitz, 43, a consultant at a
Chicago technology firm. She and her husband
of four years, Bruce Miller, 36, a real
estate developer, both travel frequently
for work. When they are home, they like
to stay in and make their favorite meal:
a simple dish of chicken, asparagus and
plum tomatoes. While they eat dinner,
Carol and Bruce bake a heaping spoonful
of store-bought cookie dough and let the
delicious smell fill the kitchen—then
they share the giant cookie for a playful
dessert.
"It’s nicer
to eat dinner at home because you get
to concentrate on each other without being
interrupted," Carol says. Other dining
options are finger foods that are fun
to serve each other, such as strawberries
and figs or shrimp cocktail. For an easy,
hands-on meal, the Brownings make their
own pizzas with gourmet toppings. As a
summertime twist, enjoy the meal as a
picnic, outside on a blanket or inside
on the bed.
The end goal is making a celebration out
of spending time with your partner. To
plan a standing date, buy season tickets
to the symphony or theater and plan a
nice dinner at home before the event,
suggests Dr. Pauline Boss, professor and
marriage therapist at the University of
Minnesota.
No time at the end of the day? Try sharing
an intimate breakfast in bed. Or for a
summertime twist, enjoy the meal as a
picnic outside on a blanket. Keep the
food simple with continental favorites,
but add a special touch with china plates
and teacups and a flower garnish. While
you enjoy the morning together, use the
newspaper to find topics of interest for
each other—or to spur plans for future
quality time. For example, reading the
travel section can inspire exciting vacation
ideas.
Remember, fancy doesn’t always mean
better. “What’s romantic is
taking time for the both of us to just
get together and laugh like we did in
college,” Browning says. “Most
of what’s actually romantic is just
reconnecting.” And if, by chance,
something goes awry? Don’t sweat
it. Instead, just raise your glass, make
a toast to each other—and enjoy! |
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